


Gifts of the Day

by Kaz3313



Category: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mild Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaz3313/pseuds/Kaz3313
Summary: Follows the plot of Gawain and the Green Knight, however Gawain has feelings for a certain lord.
Relationships: Gawain/Green Knight
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Gifts of the Day

It was truly an unfair trade, thought Sir Gawain. He was to be served delicious food while all that he could give the lord was a mere kiss. His lips were not worthy enough to even give him a proper one. The kiss that originally was his wife’s but alas he wouldn’t dare mention that. 

The lord was a tall fellow, he towered over people of any kingdom. Though tall, Gawain always felt his presence welcoming. Perhaps that was due to all his gifts the lord bestowed upon him. Drink, food, and anything else his heart desired. Lucky for the king Gawain’s heart didn’t long for much besides the simple pleasures of good company and to serve his lord well. 

“Gawain!” The lord embraced him immediately as if they were old friends rather than a little more than strangers. The young knight still couldn’t wrap his head around why he was chosen as so favorable but he hoped his luck persisted throughout the next few days. Arthur always said virtue shined brightest and is easily favored. If that was true the lord must have more virtue than anyone here as Gaiwain felt he brightened the room. 

“Lord,” He bowed his head once released, as any good knight would do. The lord laughed, a good natured hearty one that echoed in Gawain’s head. It was such a laugh that he wished, if sounds were tangible items, to keep the laugh in his back pocket to listen on his most sorrowful days. “ I must apologize for I have gotten very little,” 

“Then we shall mourn what little we have together, for I have only caught a deer,” The lord replied and he looked joyful for a man who said he didn’t have much. Perhaps because this lord had an awful lot; a wonderful palace, lovely people, a full beard with long locks, a hearty laugh, tall statur- Gawain mentally shook his head, no time for thoughts like this.

“We will feast well tonight,” He said then added, “I think it would be best for me to give you your gift now,”.

“Then I shall stand here, awaiting and pondering what such a vallient knight might’ve obtained,” 

Gawain sucked in a deep breath, praying to the one above. He asked for courage at this moment and, in doing so, felt a burst of bravery. He arose to his tip toes and planted a brief, pleasant, kiss on the lord’s lips. It may not have been long but he relished the moment like none other. Not even the lord’s lady had such a spark with her. He could taste the Earth from a day’s hunting but the sweetness of one with wealth. He suddenly felt a prick of anguish that he was not one of the great poets and wouldn’t be able to capture the moment as it should be. He knew of the consequences of passion and want, as he was a good knight and followed the book well, yet his very soul cried for more. It withered away in itself when he drew away but didn’t fully die. Like the smoldering ashes of a fire that can spark and ignite with any sudden movement. 

“And you said you didn’t receive much! That was a joyous gift, brave knight,” The lord gave him a clap on the back. Gawain hopes that he doesn’t take the wrong steps. 

*

The kisses were fresh on his lips and cheek, he could've sworn that he wore them like a double edged sword. The lord was none the wiser, poor fellow, Gawain’s heart tore in two. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, per se, but he still felt the rock in the pit of his stomach heavy and his head dizzy when the lord approached. 

“Gawain, dear Knight, how goes today! It has been such a marvelous day hunting!” He laughed, for the second day in a row, and Gawain bit his lower lip. The fire in his heart burned just a little brighter before simmering down again. He wished he could stay here forever but between the infamous Green Knight’s “game” and the lord’s lady’s fancy he knows he never could. 

“I can smell the boar from here; your hunting skills are just as great as your chef’s cooking and between the two of you I’m sure it will be the best boar in England,” 

“Oh, Gawain, your compliments are valued above all in the kingdom. I am just glad to be a good host to you, virtuous one,” Gawain could feel his cheeks turn to roses; how could this man show such respect in a way that made one float? Was it just from his deep voice? Or perhaps the words themselves, simple yet fulfilling? Again, Gawain wishes he’d focused on some of the arts when he was a boy. To write a song that sang of praises alike the ones bestowed upon himself.

“I have received much today as well,” The lord bent down, as if he knew what he was receiving, and Gawain kissed him once more.

Anguish, utter anguish. Yesterday he felt as joyful as a fool who found enough money to buy a drink. Today though, he feels that of a poor lady who’s not beautiful enough to be married to someone of money but has fallen in love with him anyway. Who watches him and would do anything she was asked of, yet he is to be married to the prettiest girl in the village. Who that very night goes to her room, shroud in her best gown and weeps until the sun rises. She refuses to come out, to see who beloved off, married, and probably happy. Because the worst part of it all, is he’ll never love you back.

You will give him all you’ve received yet he’ll never give what your heart desires most. 

Gawain felt water creep to his eyes. He dared to push them away, yet they protested in the means of falling. He broke from the kiss, the one that was sacred yet scandalous, his face wet from all that plagued his poor mortal soul. He wished he could collapse to his knees and call upon the Lord for pity, yet he could hardly see that was appropriate now. Instead he asked Him silently to guide his hand to glory and honor and to never let him stray far from the right path. Gawain then pleaded that the honorable lord would be part of that road. 

“What is wrong, sir knight?” 

“Nothing, nothing at all, my perfect host. Alas, I was just thinking of my duty to face the Green Knight. I will face him with courage but I am still much filled with fear,” He used the back of his sleeve to wipe away the evidence of this jabbing emotion. It wasn’t a lie, really, this had worried Gawain a great deal as well. 

“Let us not think of that now; save strength, eat well, and hope to receive more gifts tomorrow,” The last bit the host said with a light jab at the young knight. 

*

It was the day he broke his promise. It was the day he could not possibly give all that he received, no man in his right mind would. Still, a knight is only as good as his word and Gawain would no longer be such a virtuous knight as many claimed he was. If he didn’t keep the girdle then he’d be swiftly killed, and even with it, he wasn’t sure he could withstand the wrath and strength the Green Knight had.

Instead of the usual greeting he immediately embraced the host and kissed him three times. First on each cheek then one brief on the lips. Each one contained nothing but bitter sorrow and grief. Tasted first of sweet cake but as they progressed gained the taste of bile. Even so he relished each, it would be the last time he would ever be able to give his good lord anything. How Gawain prayed that he could just forget his duty and stay in this castle forever. Letting the lord’s lady do what she pleases and then passing it on to the host himself.

Maybe one day they’d find themselves alone in the halls and Gawain would kiss for just a little longer than appropriate. He’d stumble for an apology only for their lips to lock once more, the only noises that would come out would be muffled and sweet. His back would be pushed against the wall. The kisses would turn from two to three to four to five to more than Gawain could count. No one would hear nor see and the two would happily continue, for kisses often turns to -

Not that that could ever happen; Gawain was to die tonight and if not die then he must return to tell Arthur the good news. No time for wistful fantasies to come true. Again, he wished he had more talent than he possessed. If only his hand could paint, he’d make a portrait of the host on horseback. It would be small enough to keep with him wherever and durable that he could last forever. Then if he would die, at least his eyes could be graced by one last face. One too beautiful to truly be captured in a copy, but the resemblance would be enough to satisfy his last want.

To see his true, unattainable, lover before he arrived to his reward (which he hoped would be the golden gates but wouldn’t be surprised to see a man more goat then is natural greeting him). 

“I must apologize, for I have nothing but a wretched pelt of a fox. Definitely unworthy compared to what wonderful kisses you’ve received .” 

“Do not apologize, I thank you for everything you have graced upon me. Food, shelter, and great company. What more can a mere knight like me want?” Much, he wanted to reply to his own question, but again he held his tongue still.

As much as he wanted, he deserved none. That was the curse of a coveting knight. 

* 

Gawain bowed his head, at mercy to the Green Knight a great behemoth and who held an axe raised. Gawain should fear none, he had the girdle given by the fair lady, yet his mind ceased to be quiet. His thoughts were a rush of memories, fantasies, and thoughts of the near future. He could die, the girdle being useless, or he could live bewitching the beast that wished to chop his head clean off. 

Even so an axe is an axe and as it came near the bare of Gawain’s neck he twitched in fright, and swerved the hefty blade. The Green Knight proceeded to insult him, and Gawain could feel the red of shame cross his face. He was not a coward, he was valiant and brave and honorable just like the lord had told him. 

He assured that he would not shrink away again and bent his neck once again. This time the blade came down but the Knight stopped it before it could do it’s damage. Gawain had not flinched, though, and that pleased the giant man.

“So now that you have calmed down, it is necessary for me to strike. Hold aside your hood that Arthur gave you, and keep your neck so bent so it isn‟t covered again," The Green Knight said and Gawain bit his lip, wanting to retaliate. How could he go to strike and then stop? Dishonorable at most and a teasing feind at least. 

“Why talk about this? You threaten too long. I hope your heart doubts you,” Gawain spat out; he was done with this game and all he wished was to go home. Or go back to the nice lords palace. 

The blade rose and fell once more, this time earning a sweet taste of flesh. Even so, the blade did not slice through his neck like an axe should, instead just the top layer of skin split. Still, blood ran staining the snow beneath the brave Gawain. His eyes drifted to the red sight and he felt his stomach turn on itself; immediately he rose quick, like a hare, and drew his sword out.

“Stop, I command you to! For I have received the blow, without fear! If you dare try to give another I shall repay you!” Gawain spoke loud and careless and with a tremble he tried to hide. Blood ran down his back, and the mere smell made him dizzy. If he was thinking like he should he would've cursed himself for his cowardice. 

“Fear not sir knight,” The Green Knight heaved his helmet off and Gawain gasped in reply. His face was the same as the kind lord’s. The truth dawned on him like the beginning of a day; an unexpected truth if experiencing the first time but will eventually be necessary to come. “I have no intention on breaking our agreement from Arthur’s hall, even if you had broken mine in my own.”

Gawain fell to his knees, his sword cast aside, and let the blood and tears sink to the snow with him. Every realization hit him like a new blow and he wondered if he would ever be able to stand again.

“You held it true for two days, giving me kisses that my wife had graced you,” 

“You- k-knew?” Gawain cried out, he could hardly form a sentence.

“I had sent her myself and you proved to be a truthful faultless knight… for the first two days that is. However it is the third that you betrayed me, the girdle shows proof of that, so I landed my third blow. Just as was deserved. If there was evil and not self preservation in your heart I may have not been as merciful,” The lord of green said.

“I have wronged you, beloved kind host! For cowardice has destroyed my virtue and thus left me in sin,” With shaking hands he took the girdle off. He stumbled up to him, falling to his knees once again, and held out the green girdle “Take this, the broken loyalty! Even though I missed my first chance I shall not miss my second! Take, for it belongs to you more than it should belong to me.”

The green lord laughed and Gawain closed his eyes and listened to it’s bittersweetness. He felt so much, he wanted forgiveness yet he wanted to be scorned. He wished for love yet his heart would ache till death. Screams fought their way to his mouth but only weak wails managed to be produced.

“Young Knight, the girdle is yours. Let it remind you what you’ve learned today,” 

“No please! I deserve nothing, yet all I want to do is serve you! Good Green Lord, let me pay for my mistakes in exchange for work. I’ll defend your home, your lady, I’ll- I’ll defend you!”

“Sir Knight,’’ The once formidable foe, grasped Gawain’s chin and lifted it upward; the young knight gave a small gasp “ I need no defending,”

“Ple-”

“But, I will take you up on your offer of work. I could always use an extra helping hand,” He gave a smile and through the tears and blood Gawain felt relief. 

*

A year had passed since the almost fatal encounter and Gawain found that he did more fun than any work. A letter had been sent to Arthur, reassuring Gawain was virtuous enough to serve a humble lord. Arthur was delighted to hear that his knight was not dead but instead was happily helping others as he strived to do. The knight in question wondered what his uncle would think if he saw what ‘helping’ was. Sparring, eating, and sleeping was what took most of his time.

The kind lord, who’s name was Green as simple as that was, gave him sparring lessons almost daily. Despite Gawain being a good fighter, as his uncle taught him well, Green had insisted. Gawain first felt ashamed, perhaps the lord had thought he must be an amutur, but he quickly realized that the matches were in much more fun than a lesson for a novice. Banter was a constant, and sweat gleamed (he counted his blessings he was allowed to see Green helmet off, hair flowing, and the sun blazing behind him). Laying down by one another afterward was also a benefit. 

“What do you think the flowers think of us?” Gawain asked; it was a silly question. One a poet or writer or artist would ask. However Green did not laugh mean-spiritedly.

“Mother nature sees this kind of thing all the time; two people frollicing in flowers is a universal constant.”

“Well, for lovers yes. But I meant us,” Gawain laughed but it was pitchy. 

“Sir Knight,” the kind host gave a sigh “What do you suppose we are?”

Gawain received a gift that day; one he hadn’t been blessed with in so long, and this one was different. Green’s lips met his own and instead of a brief interaction like in previous encounters it held true. Then it deepend.

Earth and Heaven must've sung, for Gawain thought he could hear music swell through the air. If his mouth was not busy he thought of singing along, even if he wasn’t a good singer. Maybe now, in this lord’s home, he could learn the arts to truly capture Green’s beauty. 

It was the best kiss yet, and Gawain was promised more would come. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a commission 
> 
> You better enjoy it @localdork


End file.
